Boat Tales: The Weird, Wild World Of Waterskiing
Ever since 1922, when Ralph Samuelson reasoned that if you can ski on snow you should be able to ski on water, lakes just haven't been the same.
by Alan Jones
It’s probably a good thing Ralph Samuelson didn’t hypothesize, “If you can ride a horse on land …”
Otherwise, the face of waterskiing might look completely different today. Actually, the sport of
waterskiing does look a lot different than it did when the 18-year-old Minnesotan strapped barrel
staves onto his feet for that fateful first run. Samuelson — being something of a renaissance man
when it came to water-ski innovation — also invented ski jumping in 1925. And prior to his first
successful jump, he achieved an even greater milestone by pioneering a move that many budding
skiers still use to this day. It’s called the “face-plant,” which he discovered the hard way when
he found out you need to lubricate the ramp (he eventually used lard) to avoid having your wet skis
stick to the dry wood like a fly on molasses. As he was flying through the air on his first jump,
he may have gotten his next idea: Instead of being towed by a boat at 17 mph, why not an airplane?
So, later that summer he was seen skiing behind a WWI Curtis Flying Boat at 80 mph. But perhaps his
most amazing feat of all is that he survived into his 70s before expiring of natural causes.
Skiing is a sport that’s constantly being reinvented by individuals around the world imbued
with the spirit of, “I know this sounds crazy, but what if we … (insert bizarre scheme here).” In
keep-ing with Samuelson’s lively start, waterskiing has evolved into some interesting mutations:
Ski Racing: A sport for those who have a taste for speed like “the father of waterskiing” had. One
of its premier events is the Southern 80 on the Murray River in Australia, which sees up to 500
boats pulling two skiers at a time at speeds averaging up to 104 mph over an 80-kilometer course.
This is no straight shot, either — the race is contested on a river course between Torrumbarry and
Echuca, with 120 twists and turns, and rocks along its banks to help slow down skiers who lose
control. The only concession to sanity is that the Aussie promoters send boats out one at a time
rather than all at once. Hopefully, they won’t read this and get any ideas. Ski Flying: Another
chip off ol’ Sammie’s block is this ski-jumping-on-steroids sport, which features a longer ramp
with higher boat speeds that can launch fliers the length of a football field. To get a taste of
this high-flying sport, go to
www.skifly.com and click on “crashes” and “
health reports” (Caution: not for the squeamish). Only quick healers need apply.
Winching: A new variation of skiing that R. Sam would definitely have approved of uses a
device called a “Grinch” winch, which is a gas generator that holds up to 2,000 feet of cable and
can be reeled in fast enough to pull a skier at 25 mph. The whole point of winching is that you can
water-ski in previously inaccessible places, such as swimming pools, drainage ditches, rocky creeks
or even off waterfalls. We couldn’t make this stuff up even if we wanted to. See
www.distortionboarding.com for
videos. The list of bizarre types of skiing is endless — from skurfing, which is done with a
surfboard; to barefoot, for those who can’t afford a ski; to kneeboarding, for those who want to be
able to pray while skiing; to hydrofoiling, which allows a rider to sit high above the water while
skiing. Look for La-Z-Boy to come out with a hydrofoil model soon in order to tap into the “couch
potato skier” market.
Perhaps the greatest thing about the wacky world of watersports is that everyone can
participate; age isn’t even a factor anymore, as evidenced by 22-month-old Cole Marsolek all the
way to 100-year-young Frank Shearer. These days you don’t even have to be human … just ask Twiggy
the skiing squirrel.
