Behind The Scenes Of A TV Fishing Show
There's always lots of action on the Fishing with Billy Show, but how does he catch so many fish every single week?
by Alan Jones
June 1, 2004
Billy Ray idly spins round and round in the bow fishing seat of his BassMaster 2200 and
ponders his current dilemma: There are no fish in this lake. He has just been informed by a local
that the last fish caught in Lake Wacamole was back in 1994, coincidentally when the Green Day tar
factory opened on the water's edge, coincidentally the same year Mayor Graf had an Olympic-sized
swimming pool installed in his back yard. Problem is, Big Bass Lodge ' which curiously guarantees
every angler a fish ' is paying him big bucks to produce a show on this lake that now evidences
fewer signs of life than the Chernobyl Zoo.
Undeterred, Billy claps his hands together, winks to his producer and says, 'No problem,
thanks to the miracle of TV (adding sotto voce) along with some creative editing, this will be the
best show ever.' Turning to his aging production assistant, he says, 'Looks like we might have to
use 'the exterminator' for the first shot, young man.' The PA winces at the joking reference to his
advanced age, which for three years running has failed to produce even a mercy chuckle from the
crew. But as directed, he gets the scene ready.
'The exterminator' is one of those giant mousetraps stout enough to dispatch a curious
poodle, positioned just beneath the surface of the water. The idea is to cast a top-water lure just
beyond it and retrieve it over the mousetrap, which then snaps shut and violently splashes the
surface of the water, simulating a massive strike. This is a two-camera shot: one to show Billy
casting and another to show the lure landing. The reason they need two cameras is that someone else
has to make the accurate cast, since Billy couldn't hit a Hummer with a shopping cart at
point-blank range. They even get a bonus shot when Billy gives the rod a savage strike after
casting, and the rod doubles over because he casts his lure far back into the triple-canopy forest
framing the lake. He then gives his patented 'fish-on' war cry, which sounds like Elmer Fudd
calling in the hogs, 'SWEEEEEET!' After the take, he gloats, 'Yep, that's why they call me
'one-take Ray.'' This time he gets a chortle from the crew because the last time he got a scene
right
on the first try was when he thought he was going to miss happy hour at a local tavern.
'OK,' the producer shouts, 'It's time for the 'bass cannon.'' And the PA hauls out what
looks like a large-bore mortar and loads it with a fiberglass bass that is rattier-looking than a
teenager's jeans. After hooking one of the sponsor's 'Bass Grabber' lures to its lip and putting in
the explosive charge, the PA positions the rig beneath the surface of the lake, and when the
cameras are rolling, he triggers the firing mechanism. The fake bass rises up from the water like
an ICBM missile and reaches an altitude of 10 feet before Billy Ray jerks the rod to give it some
action. The whole thing looks as natural as the Gores' 'big kiss' at the Democratic Convention in
aught-zero, but they don't worry too much because the Nielsen folks have determined that the
average viewer of the show consumes 4.3 beers while watching.
While setting up the next shot, Billy asks his producer, 'I was wondering ... how can the
lodge guarantee that every angler will catch a fish on a lake that has no fish?' 'It's easy,' he
replies, 'They have a scuba diver attach a fish ' caught in another lake ' to the hook, and they
tell him it's strictly catch and release, so they can recycle the same fish over and over until the
lip finally wears out, but in this water they only last a couple of days anyway. The divers last
slightly longer.' Billy Ray looks indignant and says, 'But that's cheating!' He manages to keep a
straight face for a couple of seconds before bursting into laughter. The producer is giggling
hysterically but manages to say, 'Good one, Billy ... hey, I've got our next shot, call the lodge!'