This year get them something they'll appreciate more than their La-Z-Boy Oasis massage chair after the annual company football game.

Ho Ho No's

' A fishing boat that you have to pedal or paddle.
' A gift certificate from one of those fancy-pants boutique fishing stores that sells both $80 shirts and $1,000 rods.
' A boat motor that isn't powerful enough to make a decent daiquiri.
' A rod with a push-button reel featuring a picture of Sponge Bob Squarepants (if you're older than 10).
' A CD of Christmas songs sung by Bill Dance.
' A tackle box that isn't even big enough to hold your lunch.
' A vintage Elton John fishing hat.
' That prepackaged set of lures that features mini-spinner baits with yellow feathers that you always see in the bargain bin.
' Discount fishing line made in China.
' An all-expense-paid fishing trip to Syria.
' Anything endorsed by PETA.
' A TV fishing lure that is 'so good, it's banned in fishing tournaments.'
' A cell phone that works well enough for your boss to be able to reach you out on the lake.
' Cologne made by Dr. Juice, the maker of stinky fish-attractant sprays.
' Fishing hooks made from the same metal as a folding K-Mart lawn chair hinge.
' A 'senior flex' fishing rod.
' Fishing reels that require more maintenance than a 747.
' A bluegill gaff.
' A filet knife safe enough for kids to use.
' A tie with a fish on it, or, for that matter, any tie.

Ho Ho Yo's

' A fishing scale that makes your 2-pound bass into a 5-pounder.
' A fishing boat fast enough to get you a speeding ticket on the Autobahn.
' A tackle box that won't fit beneath an airline seat or in the overhead compartment.
' A cooler that never runs out of beer.
' An ice fishing shack that comes with a satellite dish and a big-screen plasma TV.
' An inflatable life jacket that doesn't make you look like the geek on the safety card in an airline seatback pocket.
' Fishing line that won't break when you hook the fish of a lifetime.
' A TV fishing lure so good that it is ACTUALLY banned from fishing tournaments.
' A fish-attractant spray that doesn't smell like a spring break bathroom the morning after an 'all-you-can-drink night.'
' An upgrade to your premium cable package that includes the All Fishing Network, but doesn't have the 12 hours of infomercial programming.
' A fishfinder powerful enough to show you where the keeper fish are located.
' A fishing map with spots marked on it that have actually produced fish within the last decade.
' A fishing rod that has more backbone than the average politician, but one that is not as inflexible as a straight party voter.
' A fishing hat signed by Kevin VanDam that starts off, 'To my best fishing buddy ...'
' An all-expense-paid fishing vacation to a fabulous Caribbean resort that just happens to be adjacent to
a nude beach.
' Bobbers that bob, scalers that scale, fishfinders that find fish, and hooks that hook.
' A lifetime subscription to Boating World magazine.